Really Illegal Golf How to Use Smoke, Taser, Coins, and Grenades

Gear is how Really Illegal Golf turns a polite sport into a toolkit heist. On the free Steam demo’s 9-hole night (app 4184150), you pre-select a loadout before the course and then live with those choices while guards, CCTV, and surveillance drones decide whether your birdie counts as a crime. This guide goes deeper than a hot-take ranking: it teaches when to use smoke grenades, the taser, distraction coins, and fragmentation / flag grenades — and when leaving a tool unspent is the smarter play.

Developer Pushlab Games and publisher No More Robots built the loop so golf physics and stealth toys share the same stage. Pair this page with the Gear tier list for S/A/B context, Perks for Physicist / Sprint (Rush) / Silhouette synergies, Stealth tips for vision systems, and Players & loadouts for co-op role splits.

Pre-select loadout: the decision before the tee

You choose tools before the night begins. That matters more than players admit. Mid-hole fantasy shopping does not save a bag you emptied on hole two.

Pre-select checklist:

1. Are you practicing a clean ghost clear, a hybrid night, or a chaos content night?
2. Solo or online? Co-op can specialize; solo needs generalists.
3. Which failure ruined your last run — cameras, single guards, or crowded chokes?
4. Which perk are you taking? Sprint (also called Rush in some Japanese press) wants short windows; Silhouette wants fewer spends; Physicist wants setup cover for ambitious lines.

Default learning kit: smoke + coins, with taser unlocked once you understand stun timing. Keep flag / frag grenades as intentional loud tools, not “just in case” clutter that tempts you every hole.

Smoke grenades — moving windows, not permanent homes

Smoke is the demo’s most honest stealth multiplier. It buys fog so you can cross a camera seam, break a chase line, or mask a teammate’s sprint to the cup.

Use smoke when:

• A fixed camera owns the only approach and club reroutes cannot skip it.
• You need a temporary bridge between two cover nodes.
• A partial spot happened and you still have a planned bush or car shadow to exit into.
• Co-op support must cover a finisher’s putt window.

Do not use smoke when:

• You are standing still to “feel safe” inside the cloud with no exit.
• The hole is already quiet and a shorter club would solve the line.
• You have no follow-up plan after the fog clears.

Execution tips: throw to create a path, move through it, arrive in real cover, then take the golf shot you bought. Smoke without relocation is a delayed fail. Sprint / Rush makes short clouds usable; Silhouette reduces how often you needed the cloud at all.

Taser — surgical interrupt, not a lifestyle

The taser deletes or pauses a body problem. It shines when one guard owns the green you must use and waiting through multiple overlapping loops costs more exposure than a short stun.

Use taser when:

• A single patrol is the hard constraint and cameras are already solved.
• You can name the exit cover before you commit the stun.
• A co-op security player can hold the window while a finisher putts.

Do not use taser when:

• Two cones already own you and stunning one still leaves the other.
• You are mid-open fairway with no recovery bush.
• You are trying to “fix” a camera nest — optics need smoke or reroutes first.

Execution tips: mark the target, stun, relocate immediately, then golf. The stun window is a timer, not a vacation. Pair with Sprint / Rush if your deaths are “almost made it” stories after the effect ends.

Distraction coins — attention as a resource

Coins are information weapons. They peel a glance, shift a cone, or create a fake sound budget so a teammate can cross.

Use coins when:

• One guard needs to take two steps off your landing pocket.
• You are teaching a friend how vision works without exploding the hole.
• Early-hole soft peels preserve smoke and taser for denser late holes.

Do not use coins when:

• You spam them without reading patrol logic and yank multiple cones toward the same noise.
• You need a hard wall of cover — that is smoke’s job.
• You are already compromised and need a reset tool, not a whisper.

Execution tips: toss early enough that you still have stocks for the green. In co-op, assign a bait conductor so coin timing is a job, not four people improvising. See Players & loadouts for role cards.

Fragmentation / flag grenades — loud on purpose

Grenades (including fragmentation and flag-style clears called out in coverage) are crowd solvers and attention magnets. They finish problems and create new radio traffic.

Use grenades when:

• The layout telegraphs a packed choke and you already know the exit.
• Stealth already failed and you are converting to survival golf.
• The lobby agreed on a chaos or content-creation night.

Do not use grenades when:

• You are practicing clean nine-hole clears.
• Cameras will broadcast the blast into the next patrol cycle.
• Your perk kit is Silhouette-first and your goal is a ghost recording.
• You are next to teammates without a “going loud” callout.

Execution tips: announce loud clears in co-op, clear the blast radius, then immediately return to golf progression. A grenade that does not buy a cup is just fireworks for security footage.

When not to use anything

The strongest gear skill is restraint. If a shorter club into foliage beats a gadget, take the club. If waiting one more cone cycle beats a taser, wait. Tools exist because denser holes are dishonest — not because every tee deserves a fireworks show.

Quiet-first ladder:

1. Reroute with club choice / stop position
2. Coin peel
3. Smoke crossing
4. Taser interrupt
5. Grenade reset

Climb the ladder only as far as the hard constraint demands. Rankings on the Gear tier list mirror this honesty: smoke as default S, taser and coins as A specialists, grenades as situational B.

Perk synergies in one pass

Perk	How it changes gear spend
Physicist	Smoke becomes setup for ambitious lines; fewer “walk the lit path” needs
Sprint / Rush	Short smoke and taser windows become finishable; escape after noise improves
Silhouette	Average tool spend drops; coins cover leftover gaps

Full perk theory: Perks tier list. Detection recovery: Stealth tips.

Solo vs co-op spending rules

Solo: carry a generalist bag. Narrate your plan aloud before you throw. Empty bags on hole four are a planning failure, not bad luck.

Co-op: specialize. One smoke support, one coin bait, one taser security, one finisher with light utility beats four identical grenade fans. Role chemistry lives on Players & loadouts.

Practice drills (demo night)

1. Clear early holes with coins only besides clubs.
2. Clear a mid hole allowing smoke + coins, no taser or frags.
3. Clear one late hole with a pre-written loud plan using a flag / frag grenade on purpose.
4. Replay the same late hole with a zero-grenade rule and compare reset counts.

Write which tool actually bought the cup. That note becomes your next pre-select.

Common fail states

Fail	Likely cause	Fix
Re-spot after smoke	Stood still in cloud	Move through to planned cover
Taser into second cone	No exit picked	Stun only with a named bush
Coin chaos	Spam without reading	One peel, then wait
Grenade cascade	Loud without exit	Call loud, leave blast, putt
Empty late bag	Overspend early	Budget by three-hole blocks

Gear in Really Illegal Golf is limited intentionality. Pre-select for the night you want, climb the quiet-first ladder, and spend fireworks only when the cup — not your impatience — demands them. Master that, and the Q1 2027 city courses will feel like more puzzles, not a bigger panic menu.